In many of the couples I coach, the man is not hearing what his wife deeply wants or needs. He hears the words and notices the emotions, but often misses the message.
Sometimes the real message is layered under the words or behaviors of your partner.
To genuinely hear and understand your partner, you must listen from three places in your being.
- From your Mind – Hear what is said and the meaning of that.
- From your Heart – Notice the feelings and emotions of your partner.
- From your Gut – Listen for your partner’s need that is beneath the words and emotions.
To listen from your gut takes practice and it is worth it. How often in your life do you get a sense of knowing or intuition about a person or situation?
Usually, this deeper sense is accurate, right?
Do you listen to your partner in this way? Can you imagine what would happen when your wife or lover feels you listening with this much depth of presence and curiosity?
All it takes to is your willingness to be fully present with your partner and listen from your whole body. Even if you don’t fully understand or get the message, you showing up this way is a form of healing medicine.
Whether you are a man or a woman, I believe this is one of the greatest gifts we can give to each other in our partnerships–-the gift of being seen and understood.
Growing up many of us didn’t get seen or acknowledged in key moments that were challenging or special to us.
This leads to adult relationships where we long to be fully seen and loved.
If you want a relationship with a high-quality connection that keeps getting better, take the time to understand your partner’s experience.
Listen from deep within you and notice how much easier it is to love, accept and admire your partner.
The benefits are huge if you can do this.
Listen to your partner in this way and she will feel it!